Dear George Osborne – How To Use Twitter and Be Trendy Too!

Dear George Osborne,

You don’t know me. Obviously. But I saw some of the “highlights” of the budget and I admit, I’m not that savvy when it comes to the economy. Or the budget really. But, even with my “budget thicko” hat on I was expecting to hear one particular thing and was a bit disappointed that you kind of mentioned them in passing. And that’s the tax avoidance thing. You mentioned you have plans to crack down on it over the next 5 years.


Now, correct me if I’m wrong but does this mean its not really been cracked already? It kind of feels that way! That’s what “plan” means, right?

Over 5 years? That could be AGES away, right? Isn’t our country in trouble right now?

I know these things take time to implement but when we have a big gaping hole in our numbers where the growth should be then surely these things should be done a lot quicker.

Like within the next 2 years?

Or even within the next year?

I know it sounds a bit over simplified but, to me, if the country is in trouble and we have these major international corporations avoiding tax then maybe we should start Right now! And not plan to “bring it in” over the next 5 years.

And then work our way down? What do you think? I’m pretty sure just naming and shaming them isn’t really going to work that well seeing as that could involve most, if not all, of the major accountancy firms?

Sitting here, I can think of at least 10 companies you could start with. I can give you those names if you like?

I’ve seen you’ve ventured into Twitter. I’m a bit of an addict . I have been since Little Z was born. He was a bit of a night owl during the first few months of his life and I used it to keep myself entertained (And awake!). Apparently you’re new to it too and if you’ve not used it before it can take a bit of time to get used to. I’m warning you though. It’s highly addictive. Once you start using it you’ll probably not look up again. I think your mate Dave knows how to use it. You could ask him? Or maybe Ed will show you after a beer or 2? (You’ll save 2p you know!)

Anyhoo…here’s my Twitter tip for you…

You know those big corporations that are avoiding tax? I might be wrong but its possible that they are really really hard to get hold of because I can’t think of why else it would take SO long to pin them down and sort out their tax avoidance. Well……you could tweet them directly. From your own account! Of course you could use the old fashioned telephone too but that is obviously so last year. Twitter is the here and now. Don’t let Ed be the only “trendy” one.

You could start all sorts of twitter parties too.

#PayYourTax could be one?

People love jumping on Twitter party bandwagons and you’ll probably be top trender for a long time. It may even make you more popular. Sounds good now doesn’t it?

Once you’ve established contact and found someone, maybe the CEO of each company, you could pretty much get them all in a room with the HMRC and get their tax codes corrected from “Pay what we feel like” To “XXXXL” or whatever is the correct code to have. And (If I were a betting woman) I would bet you my house that those little lines on your “deficit” graphs would start to go the right way quite quickly!

Once you’ve done that you could go onto tackling those very rich individuals that are doing similar things. Just to help you along, I think some are probably within the entertainment industry and others milling around somewhere close by. Same kind of thing. Get them into a room with a good accountant and the HMRC and get their tax codes corrected. If you’ve got a clever Personal Assistant he/she could just book them all into your diary back to back and you could do it all within a few months?

Obviously the HMRC would need to get a shifty on too. Obviously.

You could then sit there playing twitter hashtag showdown with Ed Milliband with something about how you’re now an “#upgradedchancellor”. No? Just a thought.

Kind regards,

P.S I know you’ve been reeaally busy with doing the sums of the budget and everything but a bank just gave 9 of its top bosses £40m in shares today. That’s a lot for “talent” that is losing money, isn’t it? Maybe add them to your list of people you need to tweet?

Dear George Osborne


Post Comment Love

31 thoughts on “Dear George Osborne – How To Use Twitter and Be Trendy Too!”

  1. I LOVE this post! I think I may even go fine George, follow him and Tweet him this!
    Why aren’t you running the economy, I reckon you’d do a far better job than some of the nitwits currently running the show!

  2. Great post.

    I mentioned him in my list as wl.

    This is a guaranteed way to get revenue so o too wonder why they won’t track this dumb a88 companies down instead of picking on the poor.

  3. Great ideas! Sadly it won’t happen because a) it’s common sense and b) George Osborne is not allowed near ICT in case he does something stupid like put a decimal point in the wrong place when recommending the interest rate, or accidentally declare war on Russia. We leave that sort of shit to Vince Cable and his trusty yellows. Tas for PM!

  4. Brilliant! And so true, unfortunately common down-to-earth sense doesn’t prevail among politicians

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