On a recent lunch date with a lovely friend we decided it would be nice to drive into the depths of Yorkshire and visit a pretty little place in a pretty little hamlet. It was a place she’d discovered on her travels. It looked more than 500 years old, had a huge open fire and made those delicious home cooked meals that people were obviously travelling far and wide for. It also looks very popular with couples and groups in the week days. One of those couples were seated across from us and saw us arrive with a buggy and baby in tow.
They must have been late 60s and looked like they were staring for a brief while at us then discussing their observations with each other. They looked back over and observed some more, eyeing up the baby, the buggy and back to the baby. Uh oh. I hoped Baby E would behave himself. Of course he read my mind and started grizzling to be let out at once so he could have a good nosey at everything. Thankfully he was most pleased at escaping his car seat, his little head darting about like a meerkat. The couple looked over again. Arrrgh.
Eventually I caught the lady’s eye and she opened her mouth to say something. Uh oh, what could it be that had her starting at the baby so much? She opened her mouth and it all came out…
“We just can’t stop staring at your buggy! The things they can do these days. Those wheels and that car seat with the air bags!”
All this time they had been amazed by the advances in travel systems. They hadn’t been bothered or paranoid by the baby one bit! They commented on how good he was and we talked about how old he was, if he was good generally, friendly baby chit chat. Mr stare a lot briefly reminisced about parenting their own brood many years ago. They left with one last look at the baby and the travel system they were so fascinated by.
So, the moral of this mini story is that, more often than not, those you think that are judging you, aren’t judging you. Or your baby. In fact, sometimes they’re admiring something you never even thought would attract any attention. So enjoy the long overdue chat with your friend wholeheartedly, as well as your sticky toffee pudding with the hot caramel sauce.
That’s lovely! It’s understandable you were feeling a bit uncomfortable, so it’s lovely that they were just interested in E – and his travel system!
The pudding looks delicious 🙂
Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…Project 366 Week 3
i LOVE sticky toffee pudding and if it is on a menu i will always try to make room for one. I love that it was your buggy they were more interested in than your baby!! made me smile x
Jenny Paulin recently posted…Project 366, 2016. Week 3
What a lovely little story! It’s horrible to feel you’re being judged or somehow looked down upon, so for this to have been such an innocuous and pleasant encounter must have put a smile on your face (it has on mine).
Tim recently posted…My Sunday Photo: Pick-up line
Glad that it was just admiring your buggy and not judgemental stares – it is easy to jump to conclusions though isn’t it? That sticky toffee pudding looks very yummy 🙂
Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) recently posted…My Sunday Photo – 24/01/16
It’s funny how we jump to conclusions isn’t it? I think we all do that to an extent. I try to remind myself of your ‘moral’ nowadays. I would much rather think good things about people than bad. I think we sometimes write a whole story in our heads when we actually no nothing at all about it!
Suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…Photo of the Week 4 / A Stillness
So pleased it was an innocent stare and yum to that pudding.
A lovely story and it just goes to show we can all be a bit paranoid sometimes and a lot of it is probably unnecessary.
Erica Price recently posted…Week 3 of 2016
I love this story. I’m really understanding at the moment m that people are generally good, it’s a shame not so nice people are the ones that only seem to get any air time. Thank you for sharing this lovely encounter. Cake looks fantastic too xx
Lovely story and this looks so incredibly yummy
Thank you for linking up
Photalife recently posted…#MySundayPhoto – Winter’s Morning
That is an awesome story (i agree, all too often mom’s are quick to feel judged and get offended), but an even awesome-er looking dessert! I love hot fudge brownie sundaes and it looks like the caramel is bubbling.
Brooke recently posted…Silent Sunday
Yum, that pudding looks delicious.
so true about people watching, and I guess for them, they would remember old school prams that were hard to manoeuvre
Emma T recently posted…My Sunday Photo – baubles and decorations
Lovely post Tas and you’re so right, it is too easy to read judginess where there isn’t any. Quite sad really that we expect the worse but I have done that many times! Xx
Caroline (Becoming a SAHM) recently posted…Starting the year feeling organised
It’s really uncomfortable when you feel like you are being judged, I am glad that it turned out to be something nice in the end! And that cakes looks yummy!
A jealousy-inducing photo and a great story. I think if we’re feeling uneasy about whether our children will behave, we’re sort of on guard, waiting for people to pass judgement. How funny that they were talking about the buggy though!
Aw how lovely! I think it’s great you got to talk to them and it was all so nice! That pudding looks yummy. 🙂
It is such a shame that the nature of things these days is to automatically go on the defensive. I do that too! That couple sound lovely – I usually find that the older ones are 🙂 That pudding looks amazing #mysundayphoto
Verily Victoria Vocalises recently posted…A Song Thrush Looks Out
That pudding looks amazing. I’m not surprised you felt uncomfortable. Glad it turned out to be innocent. x
Susan Mann recently posted…Birthday Celebrations – Week 4
Yeah I would have been staring at that pudding thinking that’s what I am going to have!
I’m always the one staring haha. I love babies, I will always smile though, just to show I’m not judging x
I am the same, always ready to be on the defensive and assume that people are judging me, in reality they’re probably not at all. I should probably start giving my fellow humans more credit!
Rachel In Real Life recently posted…Project 366 ~ Week 3
how lovely of them. I’m afraid I shy away from engaging people when out with their babies as there is an assumption that us adults without kids are going to judge and so often the parent with the child isolates themselves from possible conversation just in case the other adult is going to be judgemental
chickenruby recently posted…My Sunday Photo – Week 56
I was getting all bristly at the start of your post at the thought of judgy people but I’m glad it all worked out nicely and they were lovely! That pudding looks amazing!!
Karen recently posted…Our week in photos – the hamster escaped!Â
What a great story…It sounds like they were lovely people x
Kim Carberry recently posted…Lego #MySundayPhoto
Usually babies do attract attention, by their very nature they are cute.. Yes prams have come a long way since my kids were young, but have to say loved my coach built.
Elaine Livingstone recently posted…Project 366 week 3
Yes, we often expect the older generation to grumble about us and our noisy little ones. So nice when they prove us wrong.
Californian Mum in London recently posted…My Boy
If I was there I’d be staring at your delicious looking pudding! I was all ready there for a depressing post so am glad it all turned out well – I bit the travel systems are super whizzy now compared to when my two were ickle!
76sunflowers recently posted…Project 366 2016 #3
I think as parents we are conscious of being judged by others so nice to hear that you had a good experience (in the end)
Sarah | Boo Roo and Tigger Too recently posted…Living Arrows Week Three {2016}
I know I’d be thinking the same as you, all along, so how great that they were actually thinking and being positive! As for your pudding – who doesn’t love Sticky Toffee pudding!
#SundayPhoto
tracey at Mummyshire recently posted…Sunday Photo 24 January 2016
Oooh sticky toffee pudding… my favourite.
I had a similar little story from many years ago when my daughter (who is now 30) was a tiny tot in her pushchair. An old lady was walking along side for quite some way even though I tried to move across to let her pass etc. She then stopped me… I wondered what she would say and she just congratulated me on doing such a great job… having my daughter so well dressed, clean and myself looking well groomed, so early in the morning. She said she knew that wasn’t easy and it takes such a lot of effort to do that.
I was completed taken by surprise… and remember it so well to this day. Kind words indeed to a struggling new Mum. I always try to do similar if I get a chance.
Thanks for bringing back that great memory! (sorry I’ve nattered on here) ;D
Neesie recently posted…My Sunday Photo… Melbourne
So glad they let you know what caught their attention. The sticky toffee pudding looks amazing x
Ah this is lovely! Just goes to show you shouldn’t always assume people are thinking the worst of you, which is something I do a lot! x
Aw this is a lovely story and I must admit I feel this way about travel systems as its been 10 years since I last had a baby and things have moved on so much in that time, so no wonder they were staring in awe. Bless them x
Wise words mrs!!!!
although I am sure when I take my brood out they realy do judge on table manners!
yum yum looks delish. what a great story and so true. often people aren’t thinking of us at all; just lost in their own world and we imagine the worst. we just have to be kind to ourselves and others in our thoughts too.
sherry from sherrys pickings recently posted…Buttered Eggs – courtesy of Mrs. Charles Darwin (deceased)
You are so right. I think it is easy to think the worst of people. I had this once where we were constantly getting looks but, before the couple left the cafe, they came over and told us what well behaved children we had!
Mummy of Two + 1 recently posted…Finding Relaxation in Family Life – A Guest Post
This has made me want to run out and buy sticky toffee pudding! Haha, you are so right though I think we always jump to defend our own insecurities before thinking it through. I have a friend who is a young single mum and she always worries about what people think of her, I’ve told her most of her worries are the same things I worry about yet most of the time people don’t even bat an eyelid!
Hayley (@hayleyfromhome) recently posted…Little Adventurer – Boy’s Bedroom
This is such a lovely story… it’s so easy to jump to conclusions isn’t it! I think I’d find the latest travel systems for babies rather intriguing as well – it’s 20 years since I was pushing my daughters around!
Izzie Anderton recently posted…The Week That Was… 25th January 2016
Oh my, that dessert looks amazing. Love your story – I used to be randomly stopped with my pushchair to ask what it was
Kara recently posted…Silent Sunday – 31st January 2016